i make a mess of things so much. its starting to feel quite comfortable.
that knotted sick cold feeling of 'oh shit'
i think i might have slight problems with commitment. or relationships in general actually.
im allright all the time people dont seem like theyre actually interested. but once it starts to get serious i get scared and try to push them away.
kinda as a test to see how easy it is to get them to back off and just leave me alone. and also as a kinda defence. if i push them away it doesnt give them the chance to hurt me. its stupid. the ideas there but it just means im upsetting myself. haha.
never mind :]
il learn one day. hehe.
i have a new crush on someone i dont know.
i think i like those the best
you can make up a whole personality for them and they can be perfect because youve never actually spoken to them. ahaha
well, i was walking down from college, and sounds perfect were playing the smiths rather louudly
so i sat down with lauwra on the benches outside and i was kinda wiggling along, and mouthing the words in a morrisey fashion
when a cute indie boy, who im guessing works in sounds perfect, came out, stood at the door and lit up a cigarette.
i noticed him come outside but assumed he wouldnt look over due to the fact i bear a great resemblance to a vulcan with my newly cut fringe and untamed eyebrows, so carried on as i was.
well he did
and he started kinda dancing along too and mouthing the words in quite an exaggerated way which, i think might have been for my benefit, just to make it quite obvious he too could do the morrisey motions. ahaha
my friend ben was standing half infront of the cutie. so i only made eye contact when i danced to the left.. but when i did i noticed him looking over and smiling, but i was pretending to be talking to ben so i didnt know whether or not to smile back. haha also. i look like a vulcan. have you ever seen a vulcan smile? no. theres a reason.
but then the other guy who works in there [manny], changed the cd.
cute indie boy threw his hands up in the air in a 'why god' gesture, stuck his finger up at manny, put his cigarette out and went back inside
anyway. so i told all this to jojo.
and how id been having a look to see if i could find his myspace.
but i couldnt find it.
and came to the conclusion hes living a smiths indie way of life.
the kinda 'i dont need technology i still write letters' kinda lifestyle.
where you take public transport because youre doing your bit for the world, you recycle, and youre vegetarian too.
the whole i ride a bicycle shop in thrift stores and eat jam sandwiches type of lifestyle.
the smiths song type lifestyle
i decided id quite love to live like that and with a sigh i decided i would.
after getting slightly distracted, and dicussing forearms and confusion over dog jumpers, jojo and i decided...
02/02/2007 22:45:52 .Floey Ramone; :] ; can we live like our lives were written by morrisey?
02/02/2007 22:45:53 .Floey Ramone; :] ; please
02/02/2007 22:45:58 .Floey Ramone; :] ; like we live in a smiths song
02/02/2007 22:46:10 This bandwagon's full. Please, catch another. ; oh yes
02/02/2007 22:46:14 .Floey Ramone; :] ; im going to go plan it. talk to you later my lovely :]
02/02/2007 22:46:18 This bandwagon's full. Please, catch another. ; ever so poetic and witty, yet strangely melancholic?
02/02/2007 22:46:21 .Floey Ramone; :] ; il be back in about half hour
02/02/2007 22:46:22 .Floey Ramone; :] ; yes!
02/02/2007 22:46:25 .Floey Ramone; :] ; exactly so
02/02/2007 22:46:28 This bandwagon's full. Please, catch another. ; yes!
02/02/2007 22:46:31 .Floey Ramone; :] ; hehe
02/02/2007 22:46:36 .Floey Ramone; :] ; fairwell my love!
02/02/2007 22:46:38 This bandwagon's full. Please, catch another. ; byeeee (K)
so im going to go to bed and dream about it :]
and forget about real life.
real lifes too complicated at the moment.
its no fun when things get complicated.
give me picnics with jam sandwiches and long love letters any day :]